1) Don’t die.
2) Do that thing I’ve been putting off for a whole year.
3) Buy that thing for my significant other that I forgot about this year.
4) Make something I’m proud of.
5) Find something I’m good at.
6) Don’t kill anyone.
7) Erase that dirty habit I have from my daily routine.
8) Clean up my shit.
9) Discover the meaning of love.
10) Stop lurking 4chan.
11) Start posting on 4chan.
12) Reignite my lost romance.
13) Don’t get arrested.
14) Read a book for once.
15) Remember birthdays.
16) Grow a spine at work.
17) Quit my job.
18) Love thy neighbour?
19) Move out.
20) Enjoy life.
Happy New Year. And have fun tonight.
My plan was to quit drinking on New Year's Day. I'm starting to have serious second thoughts however. Watching the utter implosion of the country that I love so much has definite advantages from the vantage-point of the bottom of an empty vodka bottle. In fact it can be a lot of fun! Better to giggle when shit-faced than to weep with your faculties intact. The last ten years have been such an utter train wreck that it is difficult - if not impossible - to take it all in in any other condition than complete, alcohol-induced giddiness. When one is forced to witness the total decline of what used to be a grand civilization, it generally is a good rule-of-thumb to have an artificial stimulant at the ready. Heroin is too expensive and marijuana gives me terrible anxiety attacks. So make it one for my baby and one more for the road, Joe....
ReplyDeleteWas that decade just a horrible nightmare? Of course I'm being facetious, but there were more-than-a-few times during during the last ten years - particularly during the time the Bush Mob was in power - that I would awaken suddenly in the middle of the night and say out loud,
"Did I dream that?"
"Is Bush seriously president?"
"Did we actually invade Iraq?"
"Are the Spice Girls really number one?"
And a special tip of the old fedora to George W. Bush. Anyone who can make me nostalgic for the likes of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan has a certain talent, no doubt about it. His entire eight-year-reign seems almost surreal in hindsight. In a twisted and cynical paraphrasing of Charles Dickens, "It was the worst of times. It was the worst of times." What a long, strange trip it's been. As the great Hunter Thompson liked to say, "Buy the Ticket. Take the ride."
http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com
Tom Degan
Goshen NY