Inglourious Basterds (2009) – Review

dir. Quentin Tarantino

Starring Brad Pitt, Mélanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz

Right. Inglourious Basterds. QT’s big finish to the summer movie season. What did I expect? I expected a Quentin Tarantino movie. What did I get? Seems the most sensible answer is a Quentin Tarantino movie, but I also got a nice cinematic gift basket in the form of a Spaghetti Western’d, Jew-glorified, ahistorical and revenge-driven take on World War II. More importantly, I got entertained. I applaud you, QT. Not only do you make make Nazis seem like sit-com material, you sure bring in the big guns—with your big, controversial name engraved all along the barrel.

Over the course of my QT viewing experience, I’ve discovered that his style is so recognizable, so distinct, and so bold that you can’t help but to notice it. Like some sort of filmmaking crazy glue, it just smears on and won’t go away, no matter how much water you put over it. It just stays there, isolated on your arm, laughing in your face and bugging you day after day. But then you realize; there really is no hope trying to wash it off now, since it won’t work anyways. Don’t waste time and energy doing something hopeless—just work around it. Heck, it doesn’t even look that bad anyways.

Well, the glue’s still there. And it’s sticky as hell. QT style is all over this film, and rightly so, being of his creation. Silly brutality? Well, there’s a Jew-Bear. Open to interpretation. Non-linear storyline? QT loves his dramaturgies. Quirky, interesting characters? Charming and eloquent jew-hunting Nazi official. Southern drawling, all-American, rag-tag lieutenant. Hardened Jewish orphan who owns a Parisian cinema. I’d say it speaks for itself. What about distinctly unique and peculiar scenes? Mexican standoffs, barroom battles of wit, Interrogations of cow farmers disguised as pleasant table conversation—I think there’s substantial evidence of QT in this movie. Unlike the other “glues” in filmmaking, QT’s sticks hard, long, and always leaves a mark.

Brad Pitt is a Basterd. No, not a bastard. A Basterd.

His sticky style is worthy of applause, sure. But what makes this one so different from the others? QT style is in all of his films, from Kill Bill to Reservoir Dogs to Death Proof, it’s there. It could possibly could be Waltz’s mindblowingly awesome and Oscar-worthy performance as the most charming Nazi I’ve ever seen. It could also be QT’s loyalty to his promises. He promised a spaghetti western mixed with some WW2, and he delivered. On paper, that idea does not seem flattering, yet on screen, it provides endless hilarity and action that you can’t keep yourself from laughing at QT’s ability to pull something this grand off. It could also very well be that Quentin Tarantino is an alright director. Maybe he’s not a hack; maybe he makes some really fun and unique films, patented to his detailed style and passion. Maybe, just maybe, he’s not that bad a director.

Some call him a hack, but he’s proven himself more than enough that he can throw out some enjoyable entertainment. Inglourious Basterds is the right kind of movie to prove QT’s still kicking strong, and he’s not close to stopping. It’s a Jew Pride, Nazi Hate, European Western, Hitler mocking, head-bashing, swastika-carving, people-burning, revenge-taking satire of history. It’s QT. Take it or leave it.

Seriously though, I suggest you take it.

Smaller, slimmer, and easy on the wallet.

At this year’s GamesCom, the European video games trade fair similar to E3, big news hit the Sony conference when CEO Kaz Hirai announced the much rumoured PS3 Silm, with a not-so-hefty pricetag of $299 US.

It's 32% smaller, consumes 34% less energy, and contains the same amount of features that are current gen. Plus, it's shipping out with a gawesome 120GB hard drive. If that’s not enough to make you wet your fanboy pants, it looks throwable at the TV when it overheats from countless hours of marathon gaming.

Just look at that TEXTURED SURFACE.

*GLEAM GLEAM*

Cutting the price down $100 may hope to open new doors for Sony and their exclusive fanbase. Console wars will get hot (I’m damn sure of it), however this gives Sony fanboys all the more reason to jump on the bandwagon and come crashing into Microsoft’s front offices. I have to say, I’m seeing that bandwagon a lot nowadays, and the tempting urge to ninja jump onboard itches my brain more than ever before. With this news, it’s great for both gamers without jobs (regular gamers), or those hoping to recover from the awesome recession the world has just underwent. Huzzah!

Along with this awesome news, more awesome news. Sony announced that price drops on all their currently existing consoles will be implemented in the coming future. Sources tell me that you can anticipate saving over $100 on consoles after the drops are introduced. My sources are reliable. Because there’s only one, and it’s always right.

The Internet.

So we ARE screwed…

BBC News has released an eye-opening and disturbing new article on a study that the University of Ottawa in Canada had formed to challenge the most pressing question that plagues the minds of a concerned global population.

Are the zombies going to kill us all?

Their conclusion was frightening, to say the least. “If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.”

Balls.

While the article is supposedly “hypothetical,” we all know deep down inside what the real story is. They’re coming, I can smell it. Might as well sharpen the ol’ machete. I’ll be ready. I’LL ALWAYS BE READY.

Click on the standard-issue zombie defence utensil for the BBC News article.

My God, these picture effects are so fun. =D

(Thanks also goes to John who hails from Woodside for informing me of this devastating news. Yeah, thanks John.)

The Walking Dead to hit AMC Channel

Flesh, blood and American Classics.

If you’re a fan of zombies, a fan of comic books, and a fan of horror, chances are you’ve heard of Robert Kirkman’s never-ending zombie apocalypse survival epoch, The Walking Dead, now over sixty issues and six years in. The ongoing comic series has reached Geek Hall of Fame and has become one of the most awesome pieces of zombie culture. Sitting alongside Max Brook’s works, The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, and George A. Romero’s The Living Dead series of films. Within the past decade, it could be considered the best piece of zombie horror literature to hit bookshelves across the world.

Like any piece of pop culture growing fast, it’ll get attention. Being something zombie, a lot of hands will be wanting to grab at it to expand its fame. The time has come for The Walking Dead to expand its influence past word bubbles and panels. The Channel formally know as American Movie Classics, where a lot of great movies have had their chance to appear in living rooms, has obtained the rights to the franchise to create a television adaptation of the comic book series.

Great news as that is, even greater news overtops that great news. It’s like a big fluffy layer cake of greatness, iced with chocolaty zombie goodness all around. Yum. The designer of this zombie layer cake is none other than Frank Darabont, the Stephen King novel-adapter maestro. Coming off dramatic masterpieces The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, you’d suspect a hint of drama, or some eerily real atmospheres to be present in this coming television adaptation. One thing’s for sure, this cake of greatness will taste of fleshy, bloody awesome. My favourite flavour.

Joining Darabont, it’s rumoured that Gale Anne Hurd will be involved in the production. Producer and writer of many action greats like The Terminator series, my hopes are high that the two will combine compelling drama and non-stop action to the already marketable franchise that Kirkman and zombie culture has provided to fans. Still in production however, a set date has not been released as to when a pilot may be seen on the channel. Still, among Mad Men and Breaking Bad marathons, we can’t help but to stay hungry for some imminent zombie chaos.

I’m Anthony Suen. From WILDsound. VIP, bitch.

Yesternight was quite the experience. Due to my impeccable and unparallel depth and insight into my wonderful reviews at WILDsound, they generously provided me with two free tickets to a pre-screening of a documentary at the Yonge & Dundas AMC in Toronto.

Ecstatic as I was, I was still weary of the legitimacy of this offer, yet I oddly knew that they were not trying to lure me into a trap and use me for human trafficking underground organizations. Still, my doubts were there. Nevertheless, I accepted the offer, within all reason, to see this pre-screening.

To my delight, when I got there, I went up to the table to recieve my tickets, and calmly said,

“I’m Anthony Suen. From WILDsound. I have two free tickets.”

They calmly replied,

“Sorry?”

While I was silently screaming inside, I implemented my backup plan in swift motion. A copy of the email WILDsound had sent me in hand, I gave it to them as evidence of my deserved right to be in that pre-screening. Slightly more together now, they told me to write my name down, gave me my rightfully earned free tickets, and proceeded to Theatre 3 with my friend, who was white, so I didn’t feel out of place.

What I discovered inside that theatre was almost atrocious. As it filled up, middle-aged men and women sat down, discussing their stock trends and their banking accounts and their last dinner party with their In-Laws. Endless glimmering lights of iPhones and Blackberries, their consumed little fingers pressing away to tell their less-endowed friends of their privilege of being at the pre-screening. The upper-middle class was everywhere, and my friend and I were terrified.

We soldiered on however, and once the actual movie began, I forgot about the plague of the upper-middle class and enjoyed a really good documentary about the two guys who made Disney music a hit ever since the 40’s.

So, while my woes are numerous, it was a pleasant experience having one of the actual Sherman brothers, Dick Sherman; a two-time Academy Award winner, answer questions and play for us audience a few of his, and our favourite songs. I learned a little more about the history of Disney, and the legacy it provided for all the future generations. A good little doc, and a pretty fun time.

Check out the WILDsound film festival website for reviews on every single movie made, or at least there will be.

My review of The Boys: The Sherman Brothers’ Story (the film that was screened) will be up in a few days. Watch for it on the website. Link below.

The Classless Update! – Team Fortress 2

Hats? In my TF2? It's more likely than you think.

After a short hiatus and recuperation from the chaos of the Sniper vs. Spy Update in March, Valve has released the next major update, which will introduce no class-specific changes. Huh.

Yes, after much of the TF2 community has raged over various nuances and semantics, Valve has done nothing but give in and compromise for their relentless dedication to their fanbase. What TF2 fans want, TF2 fans get. I don’t think I can say that for any other game developer.

Whiny fanboys aside, this update is jam packed with goodies to leave me hugging my screen. From the much-anticipated changes to Scout weapons (Thank God), to increased versatility to the backpack that contains unlockable weapons, and who could forget the newly implemented King of the Hill, a new game mode that will probably outshine Arena or possibly replace it all together.

Ah, who could forget the hats. Being an avid TF2 player myself, I was marvelling at the idea of hats. I could wear them when I play. I could be classy. As Valve has explicitly stated in this update, you WILL be classy with a hat. Too bad I still don’t have any, cause I would be awesome if I did. Not one hat. Over 200 hours of play, not one. Thanks Valve.

Ahem, despite my apparent lack of luck, 18 new hats have been released; 2 for each class. Some of them are truly hilarious. The Heavy’s new ushanka can’t be missed, as it’s been demanded by the fans even after their first introduction to hats. In fact, most of the hats are official re-releases of modders’ versions of original hats. Further evidence that Valve is right beside your ear, having nothing better to do then listen to our constant rambling and endless arguing over God-knows-what. Who cares? We get what we want.

With this update, I certainly hope I do (I want that Gentlemen’s Hat).

Left 4 Dead Free DLC coming to PC in September

Knuckle up boys, it’s zombie time.

Yes, Valve’s beloved zombie survival shooter is getting its second DLC manicure in the past year it’s been released. With coveted titles such as Half-Life, Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, Counter-Strike and Day of Defeat, Valve’s credentials as a PC game developer has proved their worth in this demanding and commonly frustrating field.

Released in 2008, within a year Left 4 Dead has stolen enough awards to feed countless brain-dead zombie fans with reasons to buy their latest game, though it supports its reasons with relentless gameplay and one of the creepiest atmospheres ever in a first-person shooter.

This DLC release, slated for September, is the second of what Gabe Newell, CEO of Valve Corporation, says to be a long line of L4D content to be released in coming months. As Steam’s update news states, this DLC will bridge the gap between No Mercy and Death Toll campaigns, as well as introduce streamlined versus gameplay in under 30 minutes. The new campaign, titled “Crash Course,” is the offspring of the Left 4 Dead community’s insatiable hunger for constant, renewable, and endless gameplay to be fed to them for as long and as efficient as possible.

“BRAINS…AND DLC….GRAHGHGH!”

There is a slight, chance—slight, but still there—that this DLC may be the food source to satisfy even the most uncontrollable hungers. The L4D community has a history of resembling their infected brethren in-game. Sometimes they are primal, rabid, and lacking in intelligence. “They’ve given up on us” they said, “Valve doesn’t care about L4D anymore.” Yes, once word of the much anticipated Left 4 Dead 2 was released, an outbreak of horrifying proportions infected the L4D community. “BOYCOTT IT,” they cried! “wtf they releasin L4D2 for?! wheres MAH DEE ELL SEE?” The complaints were numerous, and the community in shambles, divided over those who retained hope, and those who were lost in the abyss of download starvation.

Valve never lost hope however, because they’re Valve. And Valve will make you wait as long as they want to, because they make great games. And because what they add on to those games is free, despite our whiny, selfish, ungrateful nature. The new DLC will be another shining point in this game’s young history, and with the release of Left 4 Dead 2 coming up, I presume that zombie carnage will not see its end for another 5000 or so DLC releases.

Orphan (2009) - Review

Indeed there is.

dir. Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman

Demon children. They are everywhere. Every time you’re at the ice cream parlour and that kid orders three extra scoops and you have to wait half a minute longer; he’s cackling inside, even with that innocent face. Siphoning out his mother’s money. Making the ice cream scooper take particularly long to grasp the frozen cream from the ice-cold bucket. Why do they exist? Are they the offspring of Anti-Christ? Does a secret society of super-intelligent children plan to take over the world? What is the meaning behind all the demon children?

Why, that would be shitty horror.

Orphan is the next in line for the “demon children” phenomenon to hit the big screens today. Now, given the cult status and downright poop-your-pants experience Children of the Corn was, this is quite the disappointment. Films like CotC and The Omen really scare your socks off and may make you look at your siblings (or even children if you’ve got issues) differently. Ever since however, demon children have taken a backseat to more graphic, campy, instinctual horror. Orphan does take the concept and add a little twist to it though. Yes, that’s right. She’s a demon ORPHAN. As the film expresses blatantly, what could be more terrifying than a demon child YOU DIDN’T EVEN SPAWN?!

I could actually point out two or three instances that made me shift in my seat more than the idea of demon orphans running around tearing up the city. One of those instances could be the scene where the orphan makes several sexual advances towards the main character’s drunken, traumatized, and confused husband, all in provocative makeup and attire. Just think, twelve-year olds in tight black dresses and cherry lipstick, running around everywhere sexually harassing male passer-bys. God, the horror.

Apart from that terrible, revolting image that comes to mind, not much else in this film makes me overtly uncomfortable in the bowels. However, this film does make me gag on my recently consumed stale gravy fries multiple times. Such as the pounding in of horror clichés straight into my brain, or the idiocy one must develop in order to become the victim of a serial killer/maniac/madman/suspicious orphan. Despite this, Orphan does have its rare moments that may make you jump in your seat, but making an adorable child into a crazed, sex-deprived serial killer will raise eyebrows more than create screams.

Christianity has a new, eviler foe.

Possibly the only fear I experienced while watching this film was during the scene when the orphan, Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman), goes into a rampage of anger against a bathroom stall. No, not because it’s scary, but because I would be terrified if I was in the stall beside her. It’s possibly a compliment to Fuhrman, whose performance was actually quite impressive. Peter Sarsgaard plays the dimwit father, who you can’t help but like because it’s Peter Sarsgaard, and Vera Farmiga plays the ill-treated mother who finds out everyone in the world hates her. Along with the two less than likeable children, you have one big happy family. At times however, I congratulated Esther in her efforts, as a happy family is much worse off than a smart family, the events occurring throughout proving this theory. While I doubted Esther’s capabilities at such a young age, including loading and unloading a revolver, being a ninja, and knowing of the benefits and emasculative interrogation, I can’t help but to awe at her meticulous plan to destroy this mother’s life. Did I feel sorry for her? Absolutely not, because protagonists in horror movies are usually dumb, this film being no exception.

The difference between this horror film and others I’ve seen is rather hard to distinguish. This could possibly be because there is none. It is a generic, formulaic, shallow and dislikeable movie. Apart from the appearance of scantily clad college girls running and screaming every which way, it’s a normal horror movie, much to my regret of saying this. Though scantily clad college girls could possibly propel this film into the spotlight, but I hardly think it will give this film any outstanding merit. However, there is a big plot twist—I’ll say it now—that may make your brain hurt or enrage you at its inclusion. Come to think of it, it’s not really a plot twist, but rather an explanation that complements her super-skills and comical intuitiveness. She out-leagues everyone in the film, and it makes me laugh. I cheered for her victory near the end mainly because I just found myself hating everyone else. I won’t spoil it though, as I would pound my keyboard into little bits if I was forced to write it. It is an interesting plot twist however, and I would even go as far to say worth the watch. The one thing horror movies are sure to give you are closure, because someone, or something, or some group has to die at the end. That’s why there are sequels.

Orphan does a fine job at being a decent horror film, despite all its inadequacies. There are more than enough elements of this film to bash and deconstruct into lazy filmmaking, however there is no point in it, because horror has become lazy filmmaking. No one seems to care anymore and society is perfectly fine with being spoon-fed cheap scares and empty plots. It’s mainstream and acceptable, and therefore this film is as well. Orphan deserves the benefit of the doubt, because frankly, it’s a refreshing experience from all the junk that horror seems to poop out. Go see it if you feel like a horror movie, or don’t see it if you don’t want to. No one, including me, cares anymore.

Movie Reviews from July (v.2)

Since I see no point in seperating these posts, I'll just accumulate them all in here. Saves space. And time. Don't judge me.

The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Day of the Dead (1985)

Reservoir Dogs (1991)

Silent Hill (2006)

My next review, Dawn of the Dead (1979) will be posted in a while.

Spirited Away (2001) - Review (v.2)

My first review.
Yes, I know. I'm lazy. But it's there. So read it. Don't judge me.

My stint with Professional (HA!) Writing (v.2)

I actually reconsidered my stance, and will continue writing for WILDsound.
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So about a month ago I was scowering an online filmmaking jobs database, and stumbled upon a writing position for an unknown website. Ongoing - Immediately - Lo/no/deffered. So the position was ongoing, I had to start immediately, and there was no pay. Just the job for me. I get more info, and they tell me to do reviews of "classic" films. "Classic," I eventually found out, meant any film at all. Four a month would be good they said. Keep it positive and make it more along the lines of a tribute instead of an actual critique. I was ecstatic. Sweet, a real writing job. I can get my name out, practice my writing, and do someting I enjoy.

Fucking hell, was I wrong.

First few reviews, I was breezing along, had some stuff to say about my favourite films. Those reviews were pretty good. They were long--they apparently wanted 7-10 paragraphs--and they were extensive. They kinda felt bullshit and bland, but everyone thinks that of their own writing. I send them in and they respond.

"Great stuff. Keep em coming. 150-200 Reviews before you get out of high school and you may have a nice career ahead of you."

1 year left in high school + 2 months summer = 12 months until graduation
150 / 12 = 12.5 reviews a month.

Shit.

Recalculate. 150/ 15 = 10 reviews a month. I'd be 3 months into post-grad mayhem.

So the math part surely lifted my spirits, and reminded me of how much I hate math. A minor setback though, as I was naive and hopeful that I could pull off 15 reviews in a month. A review every other day. Fuck yeah.

Right, so fastforward to a few reviews later. I see my name beside "Written by:" and I get all giddy. I Google my name for the hell of it and find myself (me, not someone with my name) on the fifth link. I feel like hot shit.

I take it upon myself to learn a bit more about the website I write for. It's run by a couple of filmmakers in the industry based in Toronto. Pretty impressive and extensive. Their "Classic Movie Reviews" link is jammed with reviews. So I read a couple of them. Then I get bored and just click on a bunch of them. They each have a different author pretty much, and their bios are daunting to say the least.

"I have written several screenplays and won awards for a couple of independent film festivals."

"My first novel is being published in late November."

"My newest film screened at Cannes last year. It won shit."

"I have an Oscar. Fuck you."

"I made Titanic."

Just a rut in the road. I'm gonna be famous too, if I keep this going.
So I do. I write a few more, and now it begins to feel tiring. The earlier ones I actually watched the movie beforehand. Now, I'm doing it from memory of the last time I've seen it. Frustrating to say the least, it became reminiscent of high school essay marathons at 2 in the morning.

Before I know it, post-pressure Writer's Block sets in. Not a review for a week. I have two planned to do. I finish one, and I email to the "editor." She doesn't even reply back to acknowledge that she got it. So I click on the website and see my review up there. But then I also see eight more, and one of them is of the film I was planning on reviewing next. How awesome. Someone is finally filling in my job. After a month.

Wow, speak of the devil. She just replied telling me my review is up on the site. I feel a little better. Still, I must continue this!

So anyways, this writer who's reviewed my planned film I have not seen on the site. For that matter, neither have I ever seen most of the other reviewers who posted something that day. My suspicions and speculations I have only kept to myself, clouded by naivete and hopeful judgement; pleading with the prospect that this could be a break, that maybe I could skip a normal job and go straight into my dream career.

Well, if I thought like that, I kinda deserve it, don't I?

It was actually before this that I finally got to the punchline. I felt like The Comedian midway through Watchmen. It was all a joke. My hopes, my reviews, everything I wasted this July doing. A big, long, frustrating unfunny joke. I realized,

"Hey, I know why they posted that position on the filmmaking classifieds!"
"Why, Super? Please enlighten me."
"Well, it's obvious really, Ego."
"Really? How so?"
"They just wanted writers to do reviews for them, so they didn't have to do them all. That way they could do other shit with the website, and use those reviewers to increase traffic and fill in their pages with films."
"Wait, so you're telling me that this was a plan to satisfy their needs instead of fufill your dream and nurture your well-being?"
"Yes, unfortunetly."
"That they are actually uninterested in your hopes and only advertised them to draw you into their devious plan to use you as a tool of furthering their online development?"
"Yeah."
"That the only reason they hired you, without an interview, phone call, or anything like that, was because there is no reason for them to?! That your reviews don't matter to them?! That all you do is provide them with site content and they give back empty promises?!!"
"Yup."
"THAT IS FUCKING GAY."

That internal conversation between Superego and Ego really put things into perspective. I then was reduced into a nihilistic and misanthropic depression session filled with tissues and endless hours of Team Fortress 2. No amount of noobish facestabs can mend the emotional and psychological pain of realizing people like to take advantage of others.

What now? Well, I don't know. I have seven reviews on that website, already layered and smothered and forgotten under the endless others that toolbags like myself write for the sake of enhancing the efficiency of a website that doesn't give a shit about you. Who would've thought, huh? That an organization of some sort makes use of you to further their own agenda, leaving you to rot in sorrow and anger.
I could abandon the whole thing. Scrap that folder entitled "REVIEWS." A month's worth of writing for naught. Just forget this month. Move on with life, even if you've lost its meaning.

"Wait."

Oh look, Id wants to speak. He rarely has anything worth contributing but who cares.

"I like sex. And food."
"Yes, we understand that, Id. What do you want to say?"
"Why don't you just post them here. It's not like anyone's here to read them, so you won't have someone on your ass about your writing, or them rejecting your reviews, like real writing would be like."
"He's got a point."
"Yeah, you can make it a series. It'll be just like that website, only you're the owner of this one, and you get to write when you want, how you want, and what about.
"Damn, Id. You work magic sometimes."

My psyche are pretty cool guys. Yes, Id does bring up some good points. This could be the start of something. Fanboy's Reviews. Or something. Hmmm, is there light at the end of the tunnel? Could there be new meaning to my life?

No, because nobody actually reads this. But at least I get something out of posting reviews on my very own blog! :D

If you do read this, why not comment on this post and do it as a roll call.

"Chump change, reporting in."

Something like that. But, viewer censuses aside, I should get this rolling.

A new dawn breaks over whatever the fuck I spent my July doing.
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PS. DISCLAIMER - The site, WILDsound Filmmaking, is actually a great site. They have lots of talented writers and the two creators are pretty cool people. They hold an annual Film Festival in Toronto; the only one that focuses on feedback from filmmakers and audiences, live during screenings. It's a fun experience, I'm sure. Check it out next time it's showing Downtown.

Despite my torrent of hate and anger, I've gotten over it. They're pretty awesome, and the bottom line is I stopped enjoying it, so I've left. If you're a writer, and you want to get some practice, it could be a good start.

Conversations with an Anthrocentrist (on YouTube) (v.2)

Quite the conversation, eh?
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Who doesn't love a little online hate?

Flame wars on YouTube are like peas in a pod. You can't live without them--or at least read comments. What's fun about flame wars is...

Nothing really. But, I love seeing them. And usually I'd just spectate on the sidelines as two morons vie for the spot of anonymous crusader of their respective causes at the expense of contributive comments on whatever crappy video they're watching, BUT something struck me to speak up against this pleasant fellow I met during my viewing of The Hour's interview with Rob Stewert, director of Sharkwater.

HannibalFL86 (6 days ago) (towards another commenter)

Again, you obsessive dolt, Sharks aren't needed, we can consume the animals they consume thus their niche in the "ecosystem" as you idiots like to say, is not vacant if they are gone, and we begin to harvest the animals we more or less just, set aside for them to eat.. and no, hippie.. contrary to your retard like reasoning Human beings do not just "pollute" the planet, nor is global warming anything more than bullshit.


Do ho ho. So, sharks being my favourite animal, I took it upon myself to pointlessly bicker with a moron of epic proportions. Hilarty insued.

Tony the Butthurt Fanboy (2 days ago)

Hey, you should stop name calling and shut the fuck up. Sure, you can voice your opinion, but your opinion is downright wrong. It's just wrong. So don't talk.

Fucking tired of this right-wing extremist bullshit. Global warming doesn't exist? Did you skip science class as a kid? And sharks have survived on Earth longer than we have, in perfect form and existence. Have some god damn respect.

HannibalFL86 (2 days ago)

Hey, you should shut the fuck up, and stop trying to pontificate, e-thug.

I don't have to have any respect for a lower lifeform, yourself included, so have some god damn respect for your superiors, you worm.

What the fuck does pontificate even mean? Hmm, guess an e-thug like me wouldn't know. Yes I sound like a moron as well, but I realized the error of my ways in decided to approach him at a much more familiar level.

Tony the Butthurt Fanboy (1 day ago)
ur a dik, hnnbialfl866

Yeah, that should hurt his feelings.

HannibalFL86 (1 day ago)

Stop crying

Damn. No, I'm not beat yet. I've got some more tricks up my e-sleeve.

Tony the Butthurt Fanboy (22 hours ago) y r u so mean

I'm sure he'll respond with the utmost sophistication and enlightenment, teaching me the pointlessness of my existence and the supremacy the human species has over everything in the physical realm. Maybe he'll give me a science lesson on why ecosystems don't exist or something.

YouTube, you bring the best out of people.

IT'S A TRAP! (v.2)

Seriously, I forgot what the point of this post was.
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How you've stumbled your way into the subconscious workings of a dysfunctional fanboy are a mystery to even me. But, you've found your way here nontheless, and there is no point in making you dilly-dally around aimlessly. There are places not worth venturing in a fanboy's subconcious, let me warn you now.

Who am I? Do not let that cloud your thoughts, it's hardly as important as where you've ventured now. A question worth asking would be, "Why am I here?" Ask, and you shall be answered.

You are here because fate has brought you here; because you have been chosen to be enlightened by the information the subconcious of this fanboy has to offer. Be weary though, information a fanboy possesses is not for the faint-hearted, the knowledge even a lowly fanboy obtains can become catastrophic or perhaps deadly in the wrong heads. Venture safely, for you have entered--

I'm just fuckin' with ya. This is a blog about anything a fanboy can think of. Games, movies, music, social circles, the school's curriculum, recession, global responsiblity and grape drink among these things. If you've endured that little rant by Superego, the little dude that usually fucks with our beloved fanboy's mind, chances are you're willing to stay.

So congratulations! You are now in the subconscious mind of a lonely fanboy. See what he sees. Think what he thinks, read what he writes. It's a blog about anything and everything, so if you're stopping by, enjoy yourself while you look for an exit.

Hello there! (v.2)

Thank God for Google Reader. Yes, this was more than a few seconds. But gimme a break.
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This is a blog!

Yes, it is a blog, and it's filled with blogginess. What's blogginess you ask?

Well, the answer is simple.

Bloginess is the amount of blog one's blog possesses. If your blog posesses lots of blogginess, your blog is very bloggy. If you want to be a blogger, you have to posess sufficient bloginess. The Fanboy Subconcious is a blog filled with endless amounts of blogginess, or at least about to be.

You might be saying, "What the hell are you talking about?"

I have no clue, but it's damn sure going to be filled with blogginess.

My stint with HTML

Yeah, don't mess with it when you have no idea what you're doing.

I NOW CHRISTEN THEE...

The Fanboy Subconscious v.2

There will be a dump of saved posts in a few seconds.